A man and his ever-nagging wife went on a vacation to Jerusalem. While there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150." The man thought about it and told him that he would just have her shipped home. The Undertaker shocklingly asked him, "Why would you spend $5000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here, and you would only spend $150?"

The Poem below was read after President Obama's inauguration speech. I thought it was a perfect poem that fit the changing day. While I do not share the same beliefs as some of my friends and family when it comes to Politics, (and thats ok, thats what make this country great) I think its a great Poem that needs to be shared with everyone...

Praise Song for the Day
(by Elizabeth Alexander)

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others’ eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair.

Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer consider the changing sky; A teacher says, “Take out your pencils. Begin.”

We encounter each other in words, Words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; Words to consider, reconsider.

We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, “I need to see what’s on the other side; I know there’s something better down the road.”

We need to find a place where we are safe; We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by “Love thy neighbor as thy self.”

Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need.

What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.

In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light.

I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this...

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up...with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning ...UPHILL..in the snow...BOTH ways...yadda,yadda,yadda!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my Childhood, you live in a complete Utopia!

And I have to say it but you kids today...you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have "The Internet" . If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue that never made any sense!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike or take the bus to the record store, and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day for your favorite songs and tape them off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

We didn't have fancy features like Call Waiting! If you Were on the phone and somebody else called they got an annoying busy signal, that's it...plain & simple! Sometimes for hours!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your ex, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video Games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your Imagination!! Imagine that! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen....the same screen...FOREVER! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and harder and Faster and faster...until you died! Just like LIFE!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then it was only m-net. And there was no on screen menu and NO remote control!

You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off your couch and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and yes...we actually had to WATCH the commercials! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.

Do you Hear what I'm saying!?!??!!! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons and we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we actually had to use the stove ... Imagine that!
If we wanted Popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.
You're SPOILED!

Here is a post from the Simple Marriage Project that I really liked.

How many of them do you and your spouse already do?

December 30, 2008
12 Ways To Have An Unhappy Marriage In 2009
Originally posted on May 1, 2008.

If you go to your local Barnes and Noble, or whatever bookstore you frequent, usually somewhere in the middle of the store you can find a relationships and marriage section. This area is often filled with everything from Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts to How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

With all the information out there regarding how to have a successful marriage, what makes the principles so hard to incorporate and apply? Granted, marriage is not so easy that there is a definitive formula that everyone can follow to discover a marriage out of this world. It still requires work and there will still be struggles.

A lasting marriage can be attained and it’s simpler than you think.
Beyond the idea of simply creating a marriage that lasts there is the joy and pleasure a marriage fully alive can provide for both participants. There are no actual steps that everyone can follow to an extremely happy marriage, but there are some sure fire ways to create an unhappy marriage.

1. Complain. Complaining is like a rocking chair. It feels comfortable and you feel like your getting something done by rocking, but you don’t go anywhere. To break this, try the 21 day complaint free marriage experiment.

2. Have a cluttered home. Nothing will add to the stress level of a marriage like a cluttered home. It’s disorganized and often chaotic. Simplify the things in your house. Put things away or get rid of it if you don’t use it. Your marriage will improve as will your own well being.

3. Complicate things. Many people fall victim to the dreaded over-thinking things. Most things in life are not all that complicated. Break everything down into two choices. Then make a decision and go with it.

4. Have a busy schedule. Work, kids, school, friends, family, housework, social activities, travel, and on it goes. We seem to cram as many things into life as we possibly can. Then we don’t enjoy the things we are committed to because we worry about the next thing on our list. Slow down. Prioritize your commitments. Do less.

5. Be too close to each other. Every relationship begins with the desire to be as close as possible. You think about them all the time. You scheme ways to be together. As the relationship progresses, most couples remain too close, although you don’t realize it. You border on being smothered by your spouse. Unable to chart your own way in life. While this seems like it is based on love and care, it often is a reaction to the importance level your spouse assumes in life. You become fearful of being too independent based on how your spouse may react. Many married couples are emotional siamese twins, joined at the emotional hip. One of them will often be offended when the other simply wants to go to the other room to get a glass of water.

6. Spend no time alone. Just because you are married does not mean you have ceased to exist as an individual. Life is still going on and your dreams still play an important role in your life. There is nothing wrong with being apart at times in order to go out with friends. This is more than being apart to take care of career tasks. This is being apart to do things you love and enjoy.

7. Be each others only friends. Similar to spending no time alone, don’t be each others only outlet for friendship. You already play too many roles with each other in marriage. Save some things for other people to fulfill.

8. Be overly-controlling. Humans have a major weakness in that we think we can control the things around us. Including other humans. Often this comes across as manipulative. Give your spouse the respect another human deserves and let them handle their own choices. Not only is this a respectful way to do marriage, it’s the foundation for getting more out of marriage.

9. Triangulate your children. Pardon me while I use psychobabble for a moment. In families, whenever a need or desire is not met by one of the members, we often will recruit another member to fulfill it. For example, you don’t get all the attention you wish from your spouse so you dive into your kid’s world. This puts a tremendous amount of pressure on the child. It requires them to become adults too fast. Let your children be children. Keep the marriage between you and your spouse.

10. Don’t exercise. Regardless what science and the medical world tell you, your body is the only one you are going to have. Take care of it. A healthy body creates a healthier marriage. Take care of your physical health and you will get more out of life.

11. Eat only from the drive-thru. Just like taking care of the outside of your body, you need to care for your insides as well. This doesn’t mean go on an immediate diet. Just watch what you eat. Pick healthy items. Or better yet, cook at home with your spouse. It gives you more time together. And you will live longer together.

12. Dive into the media. It is easy to get lost in TV, video games, the Internet, even books and talk shows. When you get right down to it, none of these are reality. Even reality shows aren’t reality. Get involved with those around you. Go on a media fast for a day, week, month. See if that doesn’t provide a spark for your relationships.

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